I did a short drama in Bangkok last summer where I cheated on my husband with a werewolf & when he came back from his business trip — had to explain to him why we had 6 new pups lol
Auditioning in Hollywood is wild. I did a monologue, and they said, ‘Now do it like you just found out you’re a vampire.’ Sir, this is a car insurance commercial.
I once sang a charming little up tempo jazz song, and the director said, “Sing it again, but this time I want you to imagine that your significant other is a soldier at war…and you just found out they died in combat.”
In 2022 i had an audition that required me to pretend to be a shark… after 7 years of acting that was my last audition lol
I did a commercial 24 years ago where the Director said “dance like a witch”
Me -I don’t know what that means
Director- repeats “dance like a witch” with no further clarification other than a bit of gesticulation and extra inflection on “witch”
Me- “which sort of witch would you prefer” and begin infodumping historical information about witches. He became annoyed with me and snapped
“Witches arent real. I want you to dance like a Halloween witch”
Anyway, commercials aren’t for me.
I did a monolouge about a person who was upset with the idea that they weren’t grieving the loss of their parent in a traditional sense, but they asked me to do it again but like how an insanely happy person would say it. Auditioners ask you to do this to see if you’re capable of adapting your style to their vision not because they want you to be a vampire (or maybe they do in specific cases lol).
I once had a casting director say to me, “you’re a dude!?” In front of the director and everyone else in the room LOL. At the time it was a bit embarrassing, I know I look androgynous and it caught me off guard but a casting director making that mistake, pretty unreal!
Mid-interview my strapless bra slipped off (long story as to why I was in one) and fell under the girls for 10 minutes. I was trying desperately to keep my nipnops from showing through my top.
My first show the director made a big deal about doing something to stand out and make the scene our own during his intro speech, then gave us a script for the reading where a character drinks a potion and gains superstrength.
Auditions were held in a classroom, so I had the idea to pick up a chair to demonstrate the superstrength. I practiced beforehand, it was all good, but during the actual thing, I uh. I dropped the chair.
I only got a tiny part, but I later became friends with the student director and they told me that was one of the main reasons I got cast at all, so, it kind of worked?
In mid-February of my first pilot season, I had seven auditions of 10+ pages in a week. It had been supposed to be six, but one was added last minute. I didn’t have time to see a coach or really prepare much at all and had no familiarity with the creative team’s previous work. But in doing a quick breakdown the night before without paying any attention to the actual breakdown, I saw all the structural elements of a single camera comedy. Nope. It was heavy drama albeit with a fairly ridiculous logline. I also found out from my frantic agent’s assistant that I had been told to prepare the wrong character while I was on the way to Burbank from my previous audition in Culver City. I should have canceled right then and there, but decided to give it a go anyway – with bold, broad comedic choices since by my interpretation, this was an «In her own universe» type character as opposed to the «logical smart one/straight girl» I had prepared. To make matters worse, the would-be showrunner was right there in the room. When it was over, the casting director just had a blank stare and the reader was obviously having a hard time not doubling over laughing. The showrunner? Who thought I had just made fun of his script? Rarely have I seen eyes that cold … No notes, no redirect, no nothing. Just «bub bye.» Newbies today bitching about last minute self-tapes … And no, that show did not get picked up.
i wanted to try something new and auditioned for an improv theater show where we were gonna engage with the audience and everything. as soon as i walked into the room things went👎🏽 i wore platform dr martens and the heel part got caught and made me trip over this step (which you had to go down to get to the stage) in front of the ppl watching my audition they were like “oop!” then i messed up my monologue but kept going and then they put a chair in front of me and asked me to say my monologue to it. i hope the chair got my passionate message
I did a commercial audition where I had to dance, and I split my pants. I honestly wasn’t that embarassed and thought it was funny. I did not get the part.
One time I had been sick and chugged a Gatorade before the audition. I think I got extra hyped up for the audition and the CD literally asked me if I was drunk! (Which I wasn’t, I was just hyper and nervous!)
This wasn’t in an audition room, but —
I had a self-tape where my character was defiantly chopping her hair to prove a point. I had blocked it where I was miming it of course – using the scissors to chop several inches in front of my hair, clear out of the way.
On one of the takes, I got too close to my hair and chopped it clear down the middle, a huge chunk. And now I have a video of it to laugh/cry at forever.
I bombed a KitKat audition pretty bad the other day. I went over it a bunch of times and it felt pretty solid but when I got there they changed a couple things and it totally messed with me.
I’d done my prep work, showed up ready to go and…….. I’d completely and utterly forgot all the lines.
I have no idea why but I just drew a total blank. Embarrassing af.
Right after lockdown, I got an off-broadway audition at a theater I’d been wanting to work in. Obvi, this was one of like two in-person auditions I’d had in 2020. And they didn’t provide sides! I had a lot of copy (a 3 page monologue) so I was familiar but not off book, and I had to read it from my phone. They also had us perform in the theater on the stage under the bright lights and I just was not ready for that after being stuck inside for 6 months. I was a hot mess lol.
TL:DR First post covid lock-down, in-person theater audition didn’t provide sides, was on a stage and I was a mess
I have actually peed myself during a Christmas carol. I developed a bladder issue a week before tech. I also wore a dress. So that was delightful. Body malfunctions on stage are a gateway to less stage fright that’s one thing I can say with absolute certainty
I changed my audition song the night before. I learn music really fast and this was just a reprise of the song I was originally gonna sing so I thought it’d be fine. I kept forgetting the words and stopped probably five times. It was horrible.
Worst callback I’ve had was for a play where they told us before we came in to make up a story about bullying or camping. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal if I used a real life bullying story since they wouldn’t be able to tell if it was real or not. Have told that story with nothing but laughs for a decade but for some reason in the circle I just started full sobbing the whole time I told it that time. Everyone knew it was real. I was a mess there were no tissues for all my snot, sitting in that circle for everyone else’s stories. It was horrible and I did not get in 🤣
I was confident I knew my one line so I left my sides in the waiting room. Of course I did not remember the line for god knows what reason and the casting assistant (thank god it wasn’t the actual CD) had to keep stopping my tape to give me the line, it was at least 4 times. Mortifying, always take your sides folks no matter how off book you think you are you can never be too safe. And hey it hasn’t stopped them from still calling me in so it wasn’t the end of the world.
Fun fact: the very office I f****d up in, in this story just pinned me for something 🥲
Ha I auditioned for a commercial recently. I was told by the the CD to bring in the script because people blank on camera. I spent hours memorizing those 3 lines. 25 minutes in the car right before I went in too.
Get in front of the camera, no scripting it, because I’m confident. 2 sentences in and I cannot remember that last sentence.
He tells it to me and I just stare and recite it.
Kicked myself a bit after and then smiled and remembered it’s only my 2nd audition ever.
My second full length production I was in, I accidentally flashed an entire audience my panties. Had a panic attack. Ironically I have no shame now. I often prefer roles where im naked. Strapless bra strapless bra how useless you are. I hope you have strong straps in your future auditions.
I half flashed an audience recently – was wearing a button up shirt in a scene where I spread my arms wide. Of course the button over my boobs had come undone and I had no clue until much later in the scene. I was wondering why the audience seemed so pleased with my performance…
I had a callback for Elle for a university production of Legally Blonde. I can’t belt for s**t and the callback song was “So Much Better,” and I pushed my voice the whole time unsuccessfully and sounded AWFUL. Don’t remember if I laughed or cried when I got home. I managed to get cast as a smaller role that I’d done before. Later one of the people on the casting panel that I was acquaintances with told me, “you were the best actor there but we were SO disappointed in your singing. We almost didn’t give you a part.”
At a friend’s birthday in LA, a woman talked to our group and cast* for «Let’s Make a Deal» and invited me to audition. I got it mixed up with «Deal or No Deal», so when I watched clips of «LMAD» later that week I was – not excited to do it.
But I didn’t want to let the woman down, so I went to the studio to audition. It wasn’t until I got there and signed in that I realize she probably talks to so many random people a day and probably doesn’t care or even remember me. But oh well, I’m here and let me do my best.
A super energetic guy is in a room with a camera and gets me set up. He starts filming and says «So, what was your childhood like?!»
Oh my God I scrolled through so much of my brain as fast as I could to try to spin it in any positive way. «Wellllll…. I grew up in what we called in the ’90s a broken homeee….»
A blessed bomb, but I still cringe and laugh at it years later. But also WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!
I realised I was WAY out of my league when I arrived there. I went to throw up in the bathroom because I was so nervous and my voice cracked so bad when I was doing my singing part. The directors expression was everything I needed to know that I’m never going back there
As someone who’s been on the judging side of auditions probably over 100 times, I’ll say that almost nobody’s audition is as bad as they think. I understand that people are nervous, that their song might be hurriedly practiced, that you might not have gotten an ideal warmup, etc. While you might be mortified at a lyric flub, I probably shrug it off.
The actual terrible auditions tend to come from people who are not self aware and thus wouldn’t answer a question like this. Either people who think they’re awesome but are terrible, or people who present themselves in bizarre ways. Like dressing wildly inappropriately, saying weird things, or singing way out of genre. And I don’t mean singing classic broadway for a rock musical, I mean like singing something from the 16th century.
My very first audition. I sang my 2 songs thanked them and left.
I got a nasty scathing Emil about how dare I waste their time with my horrible voice and don’t come back because I have been blacklisted.
I have seen been in 2 operas and 3 operettas with other companies. It has been over 20 years but I will never work with them
I was an 18-year-old senior in high school, and a local community theatre was doing Measure for Measure – auditioners had to be 18 or older, but that was the main stipulation. Got called back a few times for Juliet, but they sent me home after seeing some of the potential Claudios, who were in their 30s and 40s. During my last round, they asked my age and about school or work; when they learned «I’m in school» meant high school and not uni, that was the end of that.
I was only ever in one show, many many years ago.
I went to a small 2-year college. I was in choir, just for fun. One day the head of the theater department came in and said they had decided to do The Pirates of Penzance for their fall production. Since the theater department was very small and it was more musically difficult than the musicals they had done before, they weren’t sure if the theater kids were strong enough singers to pull it off, so they were asking if any of us wanted to audition. He said he didn’t care if we could dance or act, they just needed singers to round out the chorus.
I certainly can’t act and can’t dance, but I had the time and I love the theater, so I decided to go to tryouts. For whatever reason (I don’t know how these things work, but I thought I would only need to sing to try out for the chorus), they wanted everyone to do every part of the tryouts, including learning a simple tap routine that the policemen were going to do at one point. I did so badly at it I fell over right at the edge of the stage, and managed to fall off the stage as I tried to get back up. I was still allowed to play one of the bevy of daughters. It was a wonderful experience, but never again.
Group audition for community theatre. MD gave us sheet music to teach us a song and split the women into sopranos and altos by LITERALLY SPLITTING THE GROUP DOWN THE MIDDLE with me ending up with the «sopranos». When I said I was an alto and couldn’t sing this part because it was really high soprano, they said «don’t worry it’ll be fine». It was not fine. Mouthed the entire song, and didn’t get in.
So, it wasn’t that terrible, but super freaking awkward.
I auditioned to play adult Alison in a community theatre production of Fun Home, and had no idea what to sing. Because, honestly, I can’t think of a single other piece of music, nevermind a musical of the same type and vocal range, sung by a butch lesbian. All my go-to audition songs were either way too sultry-alto, or made me sound like a Disney princess going into straight girl voice.
So I googled «best audition songs Fun Home», and picked «Safer» from First Date the musical, because it was at least in the right range and I could butch it up in the delivery. I’ve never even seen First Date the musical, I was desperate.
I then arrived to the audition, and they were all like «Oh I’ve never seen First Date the Musical, is it good?» and I had to abashedly admit that I’d never seen it either.
Then, the other woman to audition for Alison showed up, and also sang Safer from First Date the musical, I’m assuming for the exact same reason.
I actually had one more. I auditioned for a very popular sit com in which 2 middle aged actresses were playing twenty-somethings. I got through the casting director, the director, the producers and even the studio! I had my dream car picked out and was looking at apartment listings. Then came the final audition: videotaped with the actresses. I should point out that I was 23 and was still getting carded as I looked like I was 17. One actress walked out on stage and just started giggling. She put her arm around my shoulder and said «Sorry, kid.» The 9ther walked on stage, took one look at me and screeched «Are you fucking kidding me? He could play my son!» And walked off. Once again, I didn’t get the job.
In New York, I was running late for the audition that was several long blocks away from the nearest train line. The subway had stalled so I ran up the stairs, grabbed a Citibike (I joined the bike share for this very reason), pedaled into the wind for several blocks, and the closest return rack that was still a couple blocks away had one «available» bike dock, but it had a cover on it that said «OUT OF ORDER». The next nearest rack was several blocks in the wrong direction. If I left it unaccompanied and it was taken, I’d be held financially responsible for the bike. Considered taking it with me into the office, but decided to take a chance, pulled off the out of order cover on the rack and left the bike there, hoping it would still be there when I got back. I ran across the street and down the block, down the hall and up two flights of stairs, by this time sweating and out of breath. I was already 5 minutes late, so I logged into the sign in sheet, figuring I’d have a minute to catch my breath, center myself, and go over my sides. Nope. Before my butt hit the chair, my name was called. I walked in, trying to remember the scene, realizing I didn’t have my sides with me, and auditioned like a frazzled yet stiff plank of wood. The audition felt so lousy, after I left I walked into the men’s room to splash water on my face….and realized from the people at the sinks I was in the ladies’ room. One of my worst auditions.
The bike was still there when I got back. And I booked the part.
Someone came up to the casting director in the middle of my audition and just started talking to them. The CD didn’t shoo them off but instead had a whole conversation as I stood there stunned. Then when my audition continued the CD said I looked scared. Bro, I was pissed. I did not get that role.
They assumed I was auditioning for Tracy turnblad. That’s pretty much all you need to know right there. I was auditioning for a male role. Because they had an emergency casting for males… they weren’t casting Tracy tonight. This feels like a sitcom joke. The director yelled at me when I asked a clarifying question as well. “Give me a second! This is community Theatre! If you don’t have patience you can leave!” (I did)
Edit: the casting list was posted. They weren’t able to cast all the male roles. Some are still listed as TBD
The director was a friend of mine. So after doing the sides he just started chatting-
Him: hey aren’t you working on «No such Thing As Solo» Me: yes but diven the dates it shouldn’t be a problem. And if it was I could definitely prioritize your show. Him: well I don’t want you to give up that show Me: That show – As I understand it won’t start rehearsals until after your show has closed. Him: well I would just hate for you to miss out on that opportunity.
I was a bit slow on the uptake but when I realized he was trying to offer me an out I said
Me: just forget I mentioned the other show at all 🤦
Was not cast. It’s pretty bad when the director is trying to help you save face by «reminding» you that you are too busy to do the show.
As someone who started theatre recently, so far my first audition ever has got to be my worst lmao. i chose a song that was a bit up in my range but could still do decently and my monologue was good. But then of course the day of the audition I got so nervous I could barely breathe, sang like a howling dog because of said lack of breathing and blanked after the first half of my monologue
when i was 13 i had an audition and didnt prepare enough and i couldnt get past the first page and couldnt remember the lines then i started sobbing
I had a callback for a role that called for someone similar to a certain tv insurance guy. Anyway they were happy with my audition but during the callback I got the feeling that they wanted me to pretty much do an impression of the guy and it threw me off. I was kind of pissed when I didn’t get it because it was a really long monologue split into six different scenes full of actions and swings of emotion. Not to mention loads of medical jargon. Ugh
literally just started auditioning (but have been taking classes for the past 3ish years). this was like 2 weeks ago and it was for an agent and i messed up my first line and screamed “FUCK” when i realized i messed up and asked if we could start again (i know you’re supposed to just keep going but 😐) lol she was nice but probably not a good first impression
I started crying in the middle of singing I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair.”
I had zero sleep the night before. I was a straight actor and wanted to try musical theater. Wasn’t ready.
Callback for an indie feature. I read once and the director gave me a note and told me to take a second to prepare while he got some water.
While waiting for him to get back, the producer and I started talking. She asked me who my agent was and I told her I’d just been signed with a new agent a few weeks earlier. Her: “Oh, I’ve heard some really bad things about them. How do you like them?” Me: “uhhh insert non-answer about everyone having their own experience” Her: “Ok cool. I think we’ve seen all we need to.”
Needless to say, I did not book that job.
Auditioned for a new play in Chicago. Went well, got notes, did it again. Typical post audition chat about availability. I turn to leave and as I’m reaching for the doorknob… “Oh, by the way… This role will be in blackface. Is that okay?”
(Narrator: It was not okay.)
I can’t remember how I responded, but I immediately called my agent and she chewed them out. Got an apology email and never heard from them again.
Well, my stories of what happened on stage are much more bizarre than my audition stories, *(*I danced off the edge of the stage and into the orchestra pit during a show once, and another time I got locked inside a tiny backstage bathroom in a theatre in Paris during a performance and the stage crew had to take the door off its hinges so I could make my entrance).
But one audition horror happened when I was about 21, I and was at one of my first big musical auditions in New York. I was terribly nervous. As the guy before me came out of the audition room after his song, he said, «Oh whatever you do, don’t listen to the accompanist, he didn’t play my song right.» So, I went in, certain that I was just gonna sing my sixteen bars the way I’d rehearsed them. It was a song I knew really, really well, or thought I did. So, he started playing, and I made sure not to listen to what he was playing, and barrelled ahead. I sensed something was wrong, but I kept going. Unfortunately, I was singing the song in my key, while the accompanist played it in the original key, that was on the sheet music. They stopped me, and let me start again. But I did the same thing. «Thank you,» is all I heard a few bars into my second try, and I was out the door.
I was too green to realize that the key I sang it in was not the key the sheet music was in. I’d never sung it in that key, so I didn’t even get what was wrong. I never did that again.
In 8th grade, I had the chance to audition for the high school production of Mary Popins(it was open to middle schoolers too). I had never auditioned before and the flyer wasn’t descriptive.
So, I show up. And I sang Good Riddance(Time of Your Life) by Green Day. Because Green Day and Disney go perfectly together. I also wasn’t aware we were supposed to have a dance prepared so I just awkwardly did the dance from the previous spring production of Oliver! Needless to say I didn’t get cast.
When I went to a film audition – made it through 2 callbacks – was down to three of us – I was the front runner – until they said “now show us your karate” – uh… agent missed that!
The worst audition I ever did was only a few months ago, for a community theatre production of A Chorus Line. I walked into the audition room and cracked on a song I’ve sang hundreds of times before and used for auditions many times. No idea what happened, I just cracked HARD. So we really weren’t starting off strong…but THEN.
THE DANCE CALL.
I cannot even describe how mortifying this dance call was. Now, I know that ACL is THE dancer’s musical. That’s literally its point. But in my opinion, the director/choreographer was unbelievably rude in the dance call. She said she was going to teach us the entire combination straight through, and not review anything. We were expected to remember the entire combination without filming anything and then come back and perform it at the callback 3 days later. So we had nothing to reference in those 3 days, it was just expected we were going to remember everything and perform it perfectly.
It was also the hardest dance call I’d ever been in. Which again, I totally understand cuz ACL is made FOR dancers/true triple threats. But this is community theatre…you’ve got to give us SOMETHING. The best dancer in the group (who ended up getting cast as Cassie, as she should have…she’s amazing) very generously filmed herself in the parking lot immediately after the audition to help the rest of us out so we could learn it and have something to reference. But she shouldn’t have had to do that.
I felt so mortified about the entire situation. The director/choreographer was rude and clearly did not care that most of us were struggling pretty hard. She even said «my job is to DEMONSTRATE to you the routine, not to TEACH it to you.» At one point I literally just stopped dancing and said «yeah…this isn’t happening».
My husband came to pick me up after the audition was over and I immediately emailed the production team and told them to withdraw my consideration. I wasn’t going to embarrass myself by showing up to the callback. It was clear this was NOT the production for me.
It’s just as well, because two weeks later I got cast in Into the Woods and start rehearsals next week.
Two nominations, ones I saw, not mine.
(1) A girl auditioned for South Pacific with “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off,” a George and Ira Gershwin tune originally from the movie Shall We Dance. The song highlights the class differences between lovers, shown by their pronunciation of different words, to show why a marriage won’t work: “You say toe-may-toe and I say toe-mah-toe; you say po-tay-to and I say po-tah-to! …. Let’s call the whole thing off!”
But she apparently hadn’t seen the movie, and the music didn’t use the phonetic spelling I just did; the lyrics on the sheet music just read, “You say tomato and I say tomato; you say potato and I say potato! Potato, potato, tomato, tomato, let’s call the whole thing off!”
Her voice was a bit pitchy to begin with, but the cringe factor of listening to her not understand the reason for the song she was trying was through the roof.
(2) Auditions for Agatha Christie’s *The Mousetrap.” One young actor read some of Major Metcalf’s dialogue. As written in the script, the character is saying that a missing pair of skis should be easy to find:
METCALF: Well, what’s the problem? We can just search for them. Look everywhere. Whacking great things, skis are. (Beat) Not a case of hunt the thimble, is it?
This actor seemingly read “whacking,” and “beat,” as …. something more literal. He said the word, “beat,” instead of understanding it as a staging direction, and accompanied the word by slapping his own knee, dramatically and hard.
If we had cast him he’d have beaten himself bloody.
It was for a drama school. I fainted on the train on the way to the audition. Sometimes I just faint and this happened to be one of those times. I was therefore running late and felt awful as it always gives me a migraine. I get there only a few minutes late as the next train was fast luckily. The first round was dance. I could not see anything as the entire world was spinning around me. I got through it and then had singing and acting after. I got through it all but I know it was not good at all. I didn’t get in…
I once fell on my a** in a dance audition, right at the end. I posed on the floor and gave a big smile but alas it did not win them over.
I have 2 stories, one with a sad ending one with a happy ending. Here’s one of them, see if you can guess which one it is before it ends;
I had gotten into a theatre school thingy the year after I graduated high school and big part of the corse was at the end we were gunna do a show, but you had to audition for it. This included both a singing and a dance audition. So, I’m not a dancer really. I took dance when I was a toddler, and then tried to do some classes when I was in my late teens but that didn’t work out, ( long story.) so I was very nervous about the dance audition. Luckily one thing I was good at was following instructions, and they were gunna give us a good chunk of time to learn the combo before the actual audition. However, I knew that how well I did in my audition was definitely gunna depend on how long I had to learn it.
Singing audition day comes and passes, I feel good about that. Dance audition day comes and… my car breaks down. MY CAR BREAKS DOWN. Luckily it was and easy fix but that didn’t stop me from being decently late. I get there and everyone else already knows the combo and is practicing it. I have 5 minutes to learn the roughly 2 minute combo before auditions start. I’m getting pity and judgmental looks left and right cause everyone knows I’m not a dancer and there’s no way I’ll learn it that quick. An instructor gives me a speedy demonstration, I copy best I can, get one chance to practice it one more time on my own, auditions start… AND I FUCKING NAIL IT! Through nothing but sheer willpower and spite, I memorized the combo and only slipped up once! That was nearly 5 years ago now and I’m still riding that high.
My community theater used to have one weekend of auditions for their whole season, so you would typically audition in groups of 5-10.
We were doing the vocal audition and a girl around my age in my audition group sang 16 bars of Take Me or Leave Me. I was the last to go and sang my song (I can’t remember what it was). The first person on the audition panel to speak asked me if I could sing Take Me or Leave Me — straight up asked me if I would sing this other girl’s song. It felt dirty, but I did it. And then I felt even worse because I truly ate 😭
It was the worst because the whole thing played out like I was the villain in someone else’s nightmare when I was just minding my business in the first place
My “worst” audition stories aren’t very exciting because it just boils down to not being 100% and also being so nervous but the audition story is the one that sticks out in my mind the most. My first audition was in 5th grade and my school was doing Willy Wonka Jr. For the audition,we had to prepare dialogue and a song. I performed the dialogue with no problem but when I had to sing,at the time I was super shy about singing in front of people(I still am but it used to be a lot worse) so the ladies who were running auditions asked if I’d like to turn around and face the back wall to sing and that’s exactly what I did! I ended up getting cast as Mrs.Bucket which is the role that made me fall in love with theatre so it worked out!
Side note: I was in Willy Wonka Jr with my best friend and my crush at the time and he got cast as Mike Teavee whereas my best friend got cast as his mom! They ended up liking each other and they were “dating” so that was a fun time
I was in 5th grade and auditioned for the community musical. It was my first time doing a non school audition and I was completely unprepared. It was one of those «everyone who auditions will be cast» shows and I wasn’t cast. So …
I had two horrible audition episodes. The first was in college auditioning for a regional theatre. They wanted everyone to read the same monologue but did not make copies that we could read and think about or even practice in advance. Plus it was a monologue the playwright had written – single space taking up a page and a half. I was first. I stood there, reading this badly written monologue with no prep, I’d never seen it before standing on a stage in front of 200 people. They requested that take off my glasses so I had a completely unknown page and a half on single spaced typing that I couldn’t friggin see because I hadn’t worn my contacts that day. I ended up holding the page about 4 inches from my face, squinting, trying to read this thing stone cold. The other folks reading at least had a chance to hear it first and my roommate was was about #176 practically had it memorized after listening to 175 people ahead of him. He got cast. I didn’t. The shoe never opened since it turned out they didn’t have financing.
My next was shortly after I arrived in LA. I auditioned for a new tv show. Once again, I didn’t get the sides in advance but at least had an hour before to practice in the parking lot. The scene was something about a guy whose brother had died and my character was interviewing for his old job which had been a partnership between the brothers. The other character mentioned the death of his brother twice. I showed sympathy and commiserated with the other character. I got through it and the casting director looked at me and said that’s nice but it wasn’t funny. I looked at him and blurted «This is a comedy?» Didn’t get that role either.
In ninth grade, I auditioned for How to Succeed with my high school. I minimally practiced, didn’t know anyone, and showed up on crutches (I have arthritis and couldn’t properly walk at the time). Some timer went off on my phone halfway through my song. I turned it off and tried again, but was in tears as a very anxious high school freshman. I was awful. The director came out to speak to the auditioners and told us dance auditions would be the next day. I walked out and called my dad to pick me up, devastated that I couldn’t even finish my audition because I couldn’t walk, much less dance.
Five years later, I’m playing Hotspur in my college’s (obviously non-musical) production of Henry IV part 1! It’s my first non-tech part and I’m overjoyed (especially because it’s Shakespeare!) Many of my castmates are also disabled and our director has been careful to check in with us and make sure we don’t overdo it. I’ve never felt so seen & respected!
If your first audition is shit, don’t sweat it. It’ll get better!
Auditioning for Guys N Dolls when I was in middle school. Foolishly, I decide to wear white pants.
I get up on stage, introduce myself and give my audition song. At the end, notice a stain on my pants
Guess who’s period came early?
There was a giant stain that was clearly visible from where I was standing. I was obviously mortified, but the people overlooking the audition said not to worry
I did manage to get cast as the General, but that memory haunts me to this day
I was auditioning for Little Shop in university (I was a theatre major) and I was pretty confident about my song and my dance and I didn’t mind if I got ensemble, I just wanted a part. But after the audition, one of the directors was like, «You’re the student with the heart condition, right?» and immediately I went pale because I knew how this was gonna go. They told me my audition was great but they weren’t casting handicapped people today. Pretty much never auditioned again after that.
I commented about this a couple years ago, but my worst was probably when I auditioned for NYU back in January 2018.
It was my first time visiting NY, so I had planned to be there a few days and take in some shows here and there. Well the day after I arrived, I woke up with a heavy fever, and a sore throat that made it super painful to speak. My audition was still two days out, so I drank all the tea I could and got all the rest in an attempt to make my audition doable – I mean, it’s NYU!
I got to a good place with my illness, show up for my audition and enter the room where I introduce myself. They ask if I’m currently sick, and I mention that I recently was but no longer am, my voice is just working it’s way back. The audition panel visibly moves back in their chairs on the opposite side of the table, almost in disgust (as if we aren’t already a good five or six feet away from each other to begin with). Made me feel great to be in the room with them, you know?
What was asked was that auditioners prepare two monologues and two songs, all contrasting. I can’t remember everything that I prepared, but I told them I wanted to start with a cut from the beginning of For Forever from DEH. They ask if I can instead sing the back half of the song with higher notes… after me having just told them that my voice wasn’t where I wanted it to be (hence why I strategized to showcase myself away from my circumstance). But I obliged anyway, started where they asked, and when I got to the climactic note – 🎵Shines on my FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE🎶 – my voice gave out and they cut me off and said they had heard enough. They didn’t ask to hear my other song, nor to see me perform either of the two monologues I had prepared.
Needless to say I did not get accepted. I still think NYU is a phenomenal institution, but that was the day it stopped being my dream school.
I auditioned for Pepper in Annie when I was in 6th grade. I was singing Tomorrow until someone came in and my voice cracked. The director told me to stop singing. Afterwards, I begged them for the role with another audition. Well all that begging gave me the role L.T. Ward the policeman which nobody wanted. My costume was also very bad so I think I should of just kept the ensemble orphan role.
Just did my first one at age 27. I stuttered, faltered, forgot the lyrics, and was by far the worst one there out of about 25. I have this dual feeling of post-embarrassment and relief, proud of myself. The director also gave me another chance. Which he didn’t do for anyone else. I know it was cause I sucked and he felt bad, but I genuinely did better the 2nd time. I also was the only one without sheet music and again- was visibly nervous. I thought about going home multiple times throughout the audition. But I did it and on to the next one
Has to be the time I auditioned for the college musical. I sang Day by Day from Godspell. Sounded horrible. They were very polite about it, but obviously I wasn’t cast.
I froze up three times at three auditions. Mostly it was because I blanked on what the next lyric was, though the most recent time I also couldn’t hear the music because I had provided it, but my phone wasn’t loud enough.
Technically, it was the only musical audition I’ve done (the other ones were for plays). It’s really not that bad of a story, but it’s still worth mentioning.
In my senior year of high school, we were doing Anything Goes. I play the flute. I was part of the theatre company, but flute is my priority and I wanted to play in the pit band for the show.
A few days before auditions, our band teacher announced he was leaving. (He’d been there for 28 years and basically left because administration treated him and the music department like crap and he was tired of being disrespected. I don’t blame him, but it was a hard situation.) He was the one that conducted the pit orchestra for the musicals. Since he was gone, I tried out for the musical just in case I wouldn’t be allowed to be in the pit cuz I still wanted to be involved.
I love singing. I can’t sing in front of people. I was terrified. I sang ‘Charming’ from Great Comet, just cuz it works well with my voice. The accompanist was all over the place with the piano part and it threw me off. I was also dead last– I had to sit for an hour and a half and see how good everyone else was before going, as if I wasn’t already scared enough!
I was placed in the ensemble, but I ended up being able to play flute/piccolo in the pit, so we have a happy ending!
This was actually probably one of my best, but I have the least memory of it. I was in high school, and I had strained my back earlier that day during class so badly that I couldn’t move without extreme pain. I went to the doctor and he prescribed muscle relaxers and OxyContin in hopes that I would be able to move around at the audition later. I was literally in a fog, I don’t remember getting there, I don’t remember doing the dance, and I don’t remember singing my song (“Find Your Grail” from Spamalot no less). Apparently I killed it, cause I got a callback for Vivienne in Legally Blonde and ended up getting the part. But I have no recollection of it. Someone took a video of my audition (cause they were in front of everyone of course) and after I looked at it, you could literally see how my body was contorted in pain from my injury earlier that day, but I did sound pretty darn good.
The total horror story: Was auditioning for Bye Bye Birdie with the song If I Were a Bell from Guys and Dolls even though golden age shows aren’t my strong suit.
I learned the song for the audition.
I get to the room, and this was a new community theatre so I was planning on not knowing anyone behind the table. To my horror, my friend, former Nathan Detroit, guys and dolls and golden age fan boy was sitting behind the table.
That was a surprise, I got really intimidated since I really idolize this particular friend and knowing this is a song he knows very well, and proceeded to immediately forget all the lyrics.
Usually I’m pretty good about keeping my cool but I completely froze. He let me start over and look over the pianist’s shoulder to read the lyrics, which would’ve fixed it if the lyrics were at all legible. I swear they were the smallest font size. Since crawling up into the pianist’s personal space wasn’t really an option, I just did my best to remember the lyrics second time around.
I tried to at least hit the notes even on the wrong words, but I was thoroughly embarrassed anyway.
I did end up getting cast and the show was a great experience, but that moment continues to humble me.
An honorable mention shitty callback: Had a callback for Spring Awakening at 9am in the middle of a 3 show weekend, and I had a double ear infection. Couldn’t even hear myself, but by some miracle I got a good part and it’s still one of my favorite show experiences ever.
Recently, I auditioned for a musical, completely blanked on the lyrics 3 times. I rehearsed it so much and my brain decided to forget it, On top of having very little sleep that night. But I have to move on lol
Oh god, one of my very first auditions I was asked to try the character as a mentally disabled person. I nailed it. Blew them away. Got the call back and played the same choice and then I was told the character wasn’t mentally disabled and asked how I came to that choice.
I froze. Had no idea what to say and pointed to The fellow that gave me the original direction and pretty much shouted, «HE TOLD ME TO.»
….I didn’t get that part.
I do stage plays and I’m horrid at memorizing monologues for auditions. For the actual play- no problem. But once while auditioning for Lyle Kessler’s «Orphans» I went up to do my monologue and totally drew a blank. I had been practicing it for like 3 days and standing there my mind just refused to work. So I improvised a monologue. Totally killed it too, not to brag or anything. But I did get the part.
Another time I was auditioning for «the Mousetrap» and chose Juror 3’s final speech from 12 Angry Men. Yeah it wound up being a mash-up of words from that monologue, but in no real particular order. That time I only got the part cause I was one of like 8 actors to audition for the whole show.
My agent sent me to this crazy audition for a supposedlya SAG film. Red flags galore. Just the fact that it was in Brooklyn was already strange, then the appointment is 8pm for God knows what reason. I get there and the building looks like it may be residential. I would’ve bailed right there if not for the fact that while triying to confirm I was at the right address, another lost actor came up to me. Buzz the «suite» on the email and indeed it is someone’s house, the CD allegedly. She leads us in and the apartment is like 65% cats.
The lady sits us at her dining table. She’s drinking, the lights are dimmed. All super sketch. The CD claims she’s waiting on someone, a producer, director, I forget. She offers us each a glass of wine while we wait. I decline because fuck that. The other dude accepts! She keeps us waiting for 30 minutes, I’m half expecting the other guy to pass out when the drugs in the wine kick in. I’m eyeing the exits, considering which of these cats will do the most damage when thrown. Finally, I decide this shit is just not worth it. I get up and grab my stuff, tell the lady I have somewhere to be. She says give her another 15, we’ll go without the other person.
It is already maximum awkward in this room and I cave, agree to wait. The lady says we’re going to start. The other guy and I are gonna take turns reading and switch! She asks the other guy to go first and then just sits back in her chair. I’m at the head of the dining table and the guy is sitting two seats down on the side. We just look at the lady like, «here?» She says whenever we’re ready. I ask if she’s going to tape this or anything (you know, for the producer that no-showed?). She’s like «Right!» and grabs her iphone out of her pocket. Stands up and starts filming, she’s gonna do this handheld.
So we fucking read. It’s awkward as it could possibly be. She’s giving the guy adjustments and everything while I’m sitting there watching. Then I go, she gives me no adjustments and actually points it out, out loud, with this poor guy sitting there reading for me. It probably helped that the scene was incredibly uncomfortable, I was inspired.
The next day I get a call from my agent. I got the part (yay?). Production calls me immediately after my agent to get my sizes. They’re going to the wardrobe fitting the day of the shoot, which starts in 3 days. At this point these been so much weirdness, this move doesn’t even register.
Then it’s the evening before the shoot. I have a 3pm call according to what wardrobe told me, but production hasn’t confirmed or, you know, given me a location or anything. I contact my agent. The next day they still haven’t gotten a hold of anyone. Call time comes and goes, still nothing. Eventually, my agent calls back; she says production of claiming someone stole all their cameras! So the shoot is «postponed.» This is clearly bullshit, but it’s enough, I’m out.
Never learned whether the project was ever completed or whether it was ever legit. Don’t really care. The upside is I’ve learned not to take this kind of crap in the future. My list of deal breakers now is huge and I leave at the first red flag. No chance any project like this could possibly advance my career in any way, there’s no point in the risk. Could’ve been my last damn audition for all I know. Irony of ironies: the film was about kidnapping and human smuggling.
I had a writer/director in the room stop me and say «smile there» okay, fair enough. Read again stopped «Now sigh after that line» okay okay. Again, «and now start with your chin forward» hmmm… Again «Now raise your eyebrow on this line but not too much»… again «Giggle» *I do* «Not so fast… and don’t look at him during these words»
It was the most insane micromanaging I’ve ever experienced. He ended up telling me where in the scene to BREATHE. Afterwards I watched some of his previous work and the acting was terrible (one of the actors I knew well and is usually fantastic) this guy just doesn’t know how to direct or shut up.
Allrighty then! My second worst audition was the one where I sang the song and then the entire room was dead silent and gaping at me in silent horror. I note that I still got in because this place will pretty much take any warm body for ensemble and they’d had me in shows before so they knew I wasn’t totally awful all of the time, but it was still embarrassing. I am now taking singing lessons 😛
My worst one ever is a super interesting story: I was taking a college class one year where the professor would do this made-up fundraiser show once a year that took everyone. Very, very laid back audition process, people were basically pulling auditions out of their butts a few hours before («oh, I found this poem on the Internet»), you could pick anything to do based on the theme and it may or may not be in the show, but you end up doing background dancing/singing if your bit isn’t picked, so that’s fine. So I did that show and then when I was no longer taking any classes there, wanted to do it again a second time the next year.
However: I could NOT find out from anyone, INCLUDING THE TEACHER WHO REFUSED TO TELL ME WHEN I ASKED HIM DIRECTLY, what the theme was. Didn’t put it online, he didn’t answer me when I asked, my friend still attending the school said she couldn’t find a flier, nothing. Finally I was all, «okay, fine, they take everyone, I’ll improvise something.» Oh no, THERE WAS A THEME, THERE WERE FOUR POSSIBLE OPTIONS, and I could not, at all, do three out of the four of them. So I winged it on topic #4 but I admit I didn’t stick the landing because I was trying to make up a monologue on the topic. This seemed fine at the time, but then they have callbacks (!!!) and then the teacher calls me and says, «Your audition wasn’t very good. You should have sung. We can’t use you.»
So….yeah. I have no idea why he was being a dick out of nowhere. That has never made sense.
However, the happy ending to this is that since I didn’t get into that show, I did an audition for another one that was going on during the original show’s tech week, got in, and it really kicked off my theater career elsewhere. Go figure!
I was hit by severe food poisoning at a professional audition. I excused myself to go to the restroom right as they opened the door for me, ending up getting horribly sick in the toilet, then came out and did my audition.
I’m still proud of myself for that one.
I went in to an audition once that was very early in the morning. I am just not at my peak that early in the day, but I had gotten myself together, even had time to grab a coffee on the way and everything.
I introduced myself and my monologue very professionally, and then BLANKED. The only words that came into my head were from an entirely different monologue so I started talking, knowing I couldn’t stay silent, and then as I was delivering it I remembered why I had stopped using it, and that tripped me up so I started to jumble words and ended up gibbering like a lunatic, said thank you and left.
I never expected a callback, but at least I got to see the auditor’s hopeful smile slide right off her face so I knew the exact moment I lost her….
#Wildest #Audition #Stories
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